Deeper
by Meixia
Summary: Trouble in paradise. Mulder.x.Krycek. Short.


Deeper Completed 2-10-04  
  
He was packing a suitcase on Sunday morning. The sky outside was gray and dreary, the typical Sunday mornings he'd come to expect, lazy but with the sky ominously towering over the city like a dam ready to break. He had to leave before it started pouring.  
  
He stuffed the last article of clothing into his small suitcase, zipping and lifting it, testing the weight. It was light enough to run with if he had to; he packed only a few pieces of clothing, a toothbrush, and an extra gun. If he hadn't bought a majority of them, he wouldn't have even bothered lugging around the baggage, but as it was, he preferred to have some clean clothes if he could.  
  
The spray of the shower in the bathroom suddenly ceased, plunging the hotel room into a quiet calm just before the storm. Through the window, Alex peered out, eyes watching the clouds.  
  
Mulder exited the bathroom in a plume of steam a minute later, and he was already dressed in a pair of jeans and a light tee-shirt of the bluest color. Alex had always wondered if the man had a penchant for wearing blue.  
  
"I think we ought to order something from room service," Mulder was saying, the wet strands of his hair falling into his eyes and curling just slightly as he bent down to glance at the pamphlet on the bedside table. "It's going to rain soon, so how about we stay in and watch some mind-numbing television?" He looked up at him then, Alex with his suitcase closed and waiting on the bed.  
  
"No, Mulder." Alex swallowed, felt his throat working but his voice ceased, swallowed down like the suddenly shallow air that gathered around him.  
  
"What – what're you doing?" Mulder's face was creased in confusion, his hands having dropped the pamphlet from lax fingers. He took a step in Alex's direction toward the foot of the bed, but Alex was ready for it. He backed away from Mulder, but not before grabbing his suitcase and clutching it with his good hand. He could feel his knuckles turning white with the force of the grip.  
  
"No, Mulder. I've got business, I've got to – "  
  
"No? No!" Mulder walked closer, unheeding of the silent pleading in Alex's eyes. "Where are you going? You can't – you don't just leave like this. Has anyone ever taught you the concept of common courtesy? Were you just going to run off without even saying anything?"  
  
Alex had stayed well out of Mulder's reach and now he was backed up against the wall, the door not three feet away. If he could get past that, he knew Mulder wouldn't try swallowing his pride to call Alex back.  
  
"Listen, this isn't about you or me. Business is business, Mulder. The world doesn't stop turning just because you get laid one weekend." Alex pulled himself together and stood a little taller, his eyes turning into hard jade. Mulder was staring him down, but Alex knew he wouldn't keep it up for long. Alex always was the more patient one.  
  
"All right," Mulder said after a moment of silence, the words small and all but whispered. His voice carried a gravelly quality, but Alex suppressed the shudder in his spine. "Do what you have to do, Krycek."  
  
"I will," Alex said, turning from him and stepping toward the door. A deep roll of thunder signaled the arrival of the storm and a moment later the clouds opened, sheets of rain poured down into the city. The sound was oddly jarring to Alex's ears. Wet but rhythmic, the sound of rain washing down the window had an almost soothing quality.  
  
"You regret things, Krycek? Mistakes you've made in your life." Mulder's voice stopped him before he could get to the door.  
  
His back to Mulder, he felt a sudden wave of weariness wash over him, slick like the rain, roiling like the thunder, washing through his insides. He closed his eyes slowly and felt the phantom sweep of Mulder's lashes from the night before brushing sweetly against his cheeks.  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"I do, too." Mulder said quietly, his voice low as if he was revealing a secret. Alex wasn't sure what Mulder meant. Did he regret sleeping with him?  
  
It didn't matter. He mentally brushed the comment off and walked to the door. He turned, holding his small suitcase, feeling suddenly awkward and graceless. He was about to walk out on something big. Courage. He needed courage. Where was his damn courage?  
  
Mulder watched him with a hard look in eyes, as if he'd constructed another steel wall between them. "Don't come back."  
  
Alex nodded once, his throat constricting. The walk down the hall was almost an impossible trek for his feet to make, and once he got off the elevator and out of the lobby, into the street, the relentlessly falling rain was nearly unbearable.  
  
He spared no second glance at the window where he knew Mulder would be watching, nor did he think about the wetness on his cheeks. 


End file.
